I am currently expanding my coaching curriculum. And honestly–I’m loving it. Because around every turn, I am challenged to deepen my awareness and continue evolving. And in this season of resolutions, I wondered if it might be a good idea to consider your own evolution in 2019. Think of them less like goals and more like good ideas.
In their book, In Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence, The Chalmers Brothers and Vinya Tumar talk about a few essential human truths. Here are the highlights, with my commentary.
Truth #1: Change is permanent. So just get used to it. This has been true throughout history. The difference now is the pace of change–and it’s hard to keep up. But if you can accept the fact that there is no stasis . . . .that another change will always be around the corner, you’ll be a far happier person. And sure, there are cycles. You’ll hear people talk about the predictability of the seasons. But no two iterations of winter are the same. Even the sharp and dark branches of the oak tree in your front yard didn’t lose quite the same number of leaves it lost last year. So it goes for humans. We are always changing.
Challenge: Consider the latest change that sent you into a tizzy. It could be as simple as a renovation to your favorite coffee shop or as dramatic as moving across the country. How did you react? When did you start to accept? How could you reduce your stress next time?
Truth #2: We always have a choice. You’ll often hear people say that they didn’t have a choice. But when we say this, here’s what’s really going on: We don’t like our choices and we don’t want to make a decision. If we take a minute to examine the choice we do have, we become much more intentional about the decision we’re making. Example? I realize that I am caught in a web called Apple. Do I have a choice when buying a smartphone? Of course I do. But I’m already in the Apple system. I’ve already trained my brain to use their products. All my chargers are Apple-based. I have a Mac computer. And so I am deciding to stay in the Apple family. Are there drawbacks? Yes. But I’ve decided they’re worth it. Remember–when we fail to decide, we give away our choice.
Challenge: The next time you feel boxed in, examine your situation more closely. Do you really lack a choice? What’s wrong with the choices you have? How could a new decision change your world?
Truth #3: How you see things matters. No two people see the world the same way. Eyewitness testimony is not to be trusted. If you ask two siblings to recount a traumatic family event, their stories are often dramatically different. And similarly, no two staff members at your company will describe a situation in exactly the same manner. No one’s lying (usually). Nobody is making stuff up. They’re just filtering through their lens, their past, their definition, their roots, their environment and their bias. As a leader, you must learn to step back and take those filters into account, and figure out the facts without the biased assessments.
Challenge: The next time you make a quick assessment or judgment–even something simple like “Wow, that was so insensitive,” think about your perspective and how someone else may very well not see it like you do.
Truth #4: Achievement is simple, not easy. Knowledge may be power, but it does not equal execution. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about coding or exercising or public speaking or leadership. Knowledge only gets us so far. Progress requires conscious effort and commitment over time. Driving is a great example. At 16, it wasn’t easy. It was scary. But we were motivated to get out of our parents’ house. To be free. We wanted it bad enough and so we learned to drive. How badly do you want to be a good leader?
Challenge: What are you not doing? What knowledge do you have that’s lingering in your mind, begging for action?
This year, seek truth. Be honest with your own reactions, choices, biases and motivations. Be the model for your followers and evolve your own leadership. One challenge at a time. I’m rooting for you.
